This is notable as, my mom lives in Fresno, and I fly into Fresno-Yosemite International airport when I visit, lol…literally she lived about 90 miles…yet we hadn’t made it up there on my visits until now…

We went and had lunch at the lodge…a few images from our trek…and oh my, the high road is really curvy!

Altogether, a gorgeous day!

~Elisa

Even though I always professed to hate those obnoxious surveys on MS(myspace)…but I think I gave in because (1) I am after all, random;) and (2) they are interesting to read about people…what folks decide to want to share…

From the mundane to the truly heartfelt, sad, mad, and joyous…finding out about people you call friends…it not really a bad thing, is it? More importantly, seeing what they decide to share…more interesting that the answers to random surveys that seem to followed in the wake, so similar to MS…yeah, I will be IGNORING those…unless I find them interesting;) I did play the ipod game first…where you answer each question by hitting next on your ipod…hey it was music;)

Anywho, seems I am not the only one that was both annoyed, disturbed, and then, that finally gave into the craziness known as 25 random things…Robert Lanham on Salon.com wrote this piece on the “phenomenom”:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/02/07/25_random/

His random items thusly he chronicled on his own blog:
http://www.robertlanham.com/2009/02/25_random_things.html

So, like a good sheep, I am going to save mine for posterity…on here, a home, for, if nothing else, more of my random blatherings;) I guess I will have to edit this over on FB, lest I seem redundant;)

1 – I have seen INXS in concert 19 times………….yes, that’s a lot:) Having said that, I met a multitude of interesting people along the way. Fellow fans, music buffs, roadies, musicians, photographers, bus drivers……..loopy stalker types…And meeting a band(and taking pics) with my fave California girls while toasted on a mess of double shots……….priceless!

25 – When I was 25, my best friend and I quit our jobs and flew to vegas for a few days to contemplate life. Neither of us got drunk or married any random strangers. LOL…hey, I moderate my madness;)

I have had to confront this with myself, specifically of late.

I have had to think whether I define myself or others define me.

Do I define my value, or do you?

Well, after 35 years and counting, I think I can answer this question.

I do.

I have a desire to be desired, loved, liked, admired, valued, depended on, etc as do most people. But…

I cannot let others define me.

I cannot let others value of me, be my value.

I have always preached that if people(friends, etc) do not want to be around me, they shouldn’t. I really only want people around me that want to be. Be it 1 person, or 100.

That old cliche, it’s really not quantity, it’s quailty. I think here it is true.

I value me. And I value people that value me. That value my friendship, that value my heart, that value my loyalty, that value my very being.

There are people that will decide I am not worthy of them. Their prerogative for sure.

But I cannot take any one elses hang ups, issues, opinions unto myself.

I can only be the person I am. Flawed, caring, loyal, sarcastic, smart, flakey, aloof, independent, provacative.

Knowing oneself, valuing oneself is something that is a continuous challenge for me. The confidence in my own value. Not letting anyone else through their attention, or lack there of make me think, I am not worthy. Be it professionally or personally.

Life is not easy. Being true to yourself, at every turn is not easy. Loving yourself, valuing yourself, is not easy.

But it is so important. It is what I need to do, to want to wake up each day. To want to live. To want to love. To want to chase that life that I most want.

My deepest desire, my ever long goal, is to chase my bliss. To be passionate, to be bold, to be myself.

Love life, love you, love me. We are all worth it. Value you.

I have not shot any photos in a few weeks…but I will get back to it soon, I think…

I have so many photo projects that are still in process to finish…ie images taken but not fully processed! yikes!

Here is something new here…I am a huge political junkie, though I haven’t really blogged about it yet.

I am going to start now…not to go and tell you who to vote for, but just to share some amusement…

I will stipulate I am a flaming liberal, or at least that is how I vote, though according to some recent surveys I have taken, apparently I have some libertarian tendancies…who knew??!?! Be that as it may, I willingly and enthusiastically will be voting Obama/Biden. In my heart it is the only way I can vote. I believe in it passionately.

Anywho, given that, and that I love good snark…it is so easy to find nowadays. The lovely Mrs Sarah Palin is like this golden ticket! Be it the excessively hilariously accurate (barely) impersonations by her doppelganger Tina Fey, or her *may I call you Joe* greetings, and *winks* to the camera, it’s like an endless well.

One of the most funny bits of email I have gotten recently on this bit(I only get funny snark, nothing serious—coincidence?!) is this diagram of her debate style…it just cracks my shit up.

I think I am having far too much fun, at America’s expense! Say it ain’t so!?!?!?!

But in the end, amusements aside…I implore, my friends, my family, my fellow americans to VOTE! Vote because you mean it. Vote because you can. Vote because it matters.

VOTE

xoxo

P.S. Sarah, love the suit!

I would counter…

Recently, a friend has made me think. I know, watch out…a random ramble is sure to be forthcoming…lol;)

ok, seriously though…what is normal? Do any of us really want to be, normal?

Why?

Anyway, what inspired me to this, is a friends birthday post…about their life, what they have done, been through, etc. Hasn’t been an easy life. But is life supposed to be easy? Kind of like, should we want to be normal?

I would say, no. The most interesting people, I have ever met, are quirky odd people. People that inspire me due to their strengths.

In part, my own parents. They were/are good people. They did not have easy lives.

My father came from a littered bit of a broken home. His own father, well, he never really knew(though they met a few times); he had no love loss for him. This man was more than a bit flawed, and for sure did my grandmother wrong. Following that, a step father, who was more than a bit challenging to their family.

His mother, my grandmother…well she is my hero. She still lives…has seen both my father and her step son pass. Has persevered through 2 earlier marriages, that while they gave her 2 beautiful boys, and a step son, were no joyride. 2 husbands that anyone would have rather not dealt with what she had to battle through. All through that, she worked, she owned her own business, she put bread on the table, and so much more. She finally met my grandfather(the only one I ever knew), my dads step dad, who she has been married to, just shy of 50 years. They have had a wonderful life. But grams, lived through the depression and a couple loser husbands before all that. She triumphed over the first few hands she was dealt before she got her winning hand. She is strong, she is brave, she is more than I could ever hope to be. These were just a few of her challenges…there were many many more. But she is one of those people, that show me that there is no quit in life. I am sure she always dreampt of a white picket fence life. But that is not what life gave her. But it is not matter, you figure it out, and you make it work.

My dad saw how his mother made it through life, and it shaped what he wanted out of life, I think. He wanted a solid home, a family that was valued above all else. He worked and lived for us. We always went on family, non extravagent, vacations, we always ate at the dinner table together, we watched tv together; he pushed both my sister and I constantly to do well in school and follow our potential through to a college education. He was proud of us. He was critical, sure, but it was always with love. I think in someways, he wanted what was “normal”. But quite honestly, what we had was so much more. I value that. Not everyone got what we did growing up. I still miss him; but what he gave to us, I will forever be grateful and cherish. He taught me love and commitment. Strength and loyalty. And he taught me, yes, just a bit…about being a smart ass;)

My mother…her story is I think, so fun, interesting, heart wrenching and inspiring. She grew up in an imperfect family. My grandfather(RIP) was no saint(though some would argue). My grandmother(RIP), who grew up more than a bit spoiled, raised a family under conditions and settings and events, I don’t think she ever imagined would transpire. On her passing, we read some of the love letters her and my grandfather exchanged in the early days of their courtship. It was so strange reading the prologue to their lifes story. The hearts and flowers and romance of it all. Well, like we all know, life does not end with folks going off into the the sunset, living happily after all. Life is full of both glory and agony. There was much of that in their story. Some truly horrible things, that are too personal to share. But, aside from that…there were times my family worked in the fields, lost their house, were hungry, were left wondering, why? But my mothers mother, this grandmother, was also one of my heros in life, she still is even as she has passed. She triumped over an imperfect husband of more than 50 years, raised 5 children and several foster children in sometimes exceedingly challenging circumstances…she lived to see many many great grandchildren–though she always wanted more more more(sorry grams!). She suffered, she loved, she was there for so many of our family when they needed her most; I can only wish we had all been there for her a bit more.

I think her choices and her life, always guided my mother. My mother who grew up, and I swear partied more than I ever did, through her 20’s…lived a fun life following her youth. Who was unafraid. Who also then, had to conquer additional health challenges(in her youth, in her 20’s, and ever since a varied slew of challenges physically). Mom was always extremely strong in her beliefs. I think it is in part a result of her being the middle child. She was an observer. She knew what she wanted and what she did not. Always has been that way. Her and dad often clashed as I think they had such strong fundamental personalities. But it is also what kept them together. Their shared value on family. Their love of us, and of each other.

They are my example. They were not normal. I see normal every day. The were extraordinary in many many ways, even as they were imperfect.

I struggle constantly with where I am in life. I often find I am nowhere. What the hell am I doing. Sometimes I think I am far too normal. I go to work, I don’t do anything crazy, I just am. I hate drama. But sometimes life needs a little drama.

I am one of those people, perhaps that has had it easy. I never did drugs, rebellion, casual sex, etc etc… Not because I am necessarily above any of it, it was simply never a choice I had to make. Never got offered any of it! Never…seriously. LOL.

I think when I have done some crazy things in recent times, it has been with maturity, and my eyes wide open. I know who I am. I am not reckless, but I hope, I am not normal either. My path is still uncertain. I hope to find where I am going. Who I am will be who I am, when life takes me there.

In the end, people, I believe in Carpe Diem…sieze the day, live your life, it’s the only one you got. I am going to live mine. Hopefully, I don’t fall asleep along the way…if I do, please…wake me up!!

xoxo

…It shouldn’t be so difficult…whatever…easy is good…

Girls are crazy……..myself included…

Life can be both achingly slow, and excessively fast…all at the same time…….

Rock is sex………….does there need to be any more to that bit?! lol…

Cool is an attitude…Hottness is perception…the Beholder grants both…

Happiness is our own to have or leave…at our own volition…

Reality…is ours…

Love…is bliss.

My most recent Itunes purchase…I can’t get these songs out of my head…

I may be a rock girl…but I will go super sugary sweet pop on occasion……..

Starting strong…

The Pretender – Foo Fighters <---must see live

Slightly more catchy kitch…

Paralyzer – Finger Eleven <---majorly addicted to this song

Ok, now hold onto your trenchcoats… I know the Platinumback(ha ha) is the fave snark of some…but I adore the song …

Rockstar – Nickleback <--- da lyrics are tres true!!! lmao...it kills me...

Now for the MAJOR kitchy catch poppy gooey mess…

Um-br-ella-ella-ella – Rihanna <---hey, I live in Seattle...and I don't wear parkas!

Glamorous – Fergie <---spell it girl...I'm flying first class...mmm hmm, I wish...

And to reign(ha ha) it all back into semi respectability…

Anyone Else But You – The Moldy Peaches <---thank you preggers teenagers...lol Sigh...

And to wrap it all up…of the aforementioned…I adore the saccharine sweet some may say cliche lyrics of Rockstar…and you know…I am all about those dirty boys;)

Yes, I know I need to…

I have posted ads everywhere…as previously blogged/stipulated…

But, my people…I suck at actually pulling the trigger and making dates…

And even when I do, I often don’t go on more than one with the blokes(ha ha, such a funny term, blokes)…

If I don’t like ’em, I don’t bother with more…just like that book…just not that into you…It’s quid pro quo, no!? lol…

It is quite simply, hard to meet new people, friends, co workers, etc…not least of all folks you may want to have a deeper connection with. Dating can suck…but if you meet the right person, it can be fabulous…or all end in a mired mess…lol, such is life. It is not neat nor predictable.

But it is scary. New people. New emotions…new new new…sigh…lol…fabulous and horrendous all at the same time.

Have I mentioned before it is all too much!? Yet not enough…

I have forced myself in this new year to take a slight step out of my insular world and shell, and to do more than talk about it here…(never did meet more than one or two of the CL guys last year…eepers!)

Of late, have I dated many or just one!? Well that is mine to know…and if you are lucky, yours to find out;) Ha ha…just joshin…

My reality, not so mysterious…if you know me, just ask…if you are just randomly reading…well, you can imagine whatever you like…

A note…those Sex and the City girls…(the characters)…noone I know in reality gets that much action…not by an exponential amount…just sayin…lol…that would be tiring…….

And…noone has that many great pairs of shoes………..

“Hello……..lova!” (You must be an SATC fan to get this, lol)

Your friendly excessive blogger come oh so innocent groupie…..

~ems
xoxo

However, I found this one quite interesting…that is when I wasn’t (pleasantly) distracted by my date……….

But we will leave that for another time perhaps…

Movies…I really have gotten out of the habit of going in the last couple years…but I do love them…

Even bad movies have value. I love the escape, the far off locations…it is a bit like a 2hour vacation every time. Fantasy, comedy, drama, action…pure escape…bigger than life. It envelopes you…

Colin’s character, in this film, did not appreciate the gloriously historic surroundings…though everyone else in the movie did…but then, he was but an inept hitman who really just wanted to get a pint and get laid…

I am not sure he ever got the second…sadly. Clearly, his character was not of his own clear charms(I mean how sexy is that Irish accent!?)…

Anywho, I would give this film *** stars…not the best, but very intriguing in its characters…definitley a character piece, not anything epic, nor earthshattering…but interesting and quirky…and oft times quite amusing.

Ralph Fiennes comes in for last portion of the film…so funny…these hit men almost have a heart…but then, not really? Or do they?

Anyways…my message? Go to the movies. They are the cheapest vacation you will ever go on!

http://imdb.com/title/tt0780536/
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809826831/info
http://www.cinematical.com/2008/01/18/sundance-review-in-bruges/