Who are you? Who am I?
I have had to confront this with myself, specifically of late.
I have had to think whether I define myself or others define me.
Do I define my value, or do you?
Well, after 35 years and counting, I think I can answer this question.
I have a desire to be desired, loved, liked, admired, valued, depended on, etc as do most people. But…
I cannot let others define me.
I cannot let others value of me, be my value.
I have always preached that if people(friends, etc) do not want to be around me, they shouldn’t. I really only want people around me that want to be. Be it 1 person, or 100.
That old cliche, it’s really not quantity, it’s quailty. I think here it is true.
I value me. And I value people that value me. That value my friendship, that value my heart, that value my loyalty, that value my very being.
There are people that will decide I am not worthy of them. Their prerogative for sure.
But I cannot take any one elses hang ups, issues, opinions unto myself.
I can only be the person I am. Flawed, caring, loyal, sarcastic, smart, flakey, aloof, independent, provacative.
Knowing oneself, valuing oneself is something that is a continuous challenge for me. The confidence in my own value. Not letting anyone else through their attention, or lack there of make me think, I am not worthy. Be it professionally or personally.
Life is not easy. Being true to yourself, at every turn is not easy. Loving yourself, valuing yourself, is not easy.
But it is so important. It is what I need to do, to want to wake up each day. To want to live. To want to love. To want to chase that life that I most want.
My deepest desire, my ever long goal, is to chase my bliss. To be passionate, to be bold, to be myself.
Love life, love you, love me. We are all worth it. Value you.